When I first met my sweet Chinese girlfriend, she was just the sweetest and kindest human being I had ever encountered. I remember looking at her for the very first time as she glanced back at me through her small black frame glasses. Most of all, I remember how cute she looked walking up and down the university campus in her little furry winter boots. Since then, we have been many things: friends, colleagues and finally couple (not necessary in that order). It´s now been two years since the night we first met at a birthday dinner in Shanghai, but no matter how much time we spend together, she still manages to surprise (and scare) the hell out of me. Don´t get me wrong, I love my Chinese girlfriend. She is my friend, my mother, my hobby and recently also my nine to five.

The best thing about being with a Chinese woman, is that she will make you discover skills, which you never, in your life, thought you could possess. I myself work in the automotive engineering industry and before I began working in this industry, I actually worked a lot with computers and software engineering. So, as you can see, I am a really big fan of technology and never would have guessed that I could end up being a part-time butler.

In the one year that we have been officially together, I can´t seriously remember one day in which she didn´t have at least one little chore for me to fulfill. These tasks go from translating emails, to doing little household chores, to giving her foot massages. My personal favorite task, is when she waits for me to lay down on the bed and tuck myself in, before saying: Honey, you forgot to get “us” some water. It seems, the more intimate we get, the more time I have been investing in my Majordomo career. I am now seriously thinking about buying myself a black tuxedo and changing my name to James.

Don´t you dare misinterpret me! I am not complaining about my Chinese girl. I am simply telling you all the great advantages of having an oriental princess by your side. In this world there is no sweet without the sour and sometimes my relationship with my Chinese girlfriend can get pretty sour. Talking about sour… I hate fruit! I hate it. I know it´s weird, but I don´t eat fruit. I enjoy vegetables, but not fruit! Now here is where the disadvantages of having a China girl comes into play. After my girlfriend found out I didn´t eat any fruit, my refrigerator was always packed with strawberries. And if that wasn´t enough, she would use her sweet little face to convince me to eat 3 strawberries a day! And after she noticed that I always picked the smaller sized ones, she made it her personal priority to pick the strawberries for me. Guess which ones she picked? That, my friends, is what I call Chinese torture! Those Communists really know their trade, don´t they?

Another thing that Chinese women love to do is to make you carry stuff you never needed before! The weather here in northern Germany can get really nasty, I admit. I have lost count of how many times I arrived home soaking wet! Well…ever since my girlfriend moved in, I have forgotten what it is like to feel that refreshing freezing rain dripping all over my head! Every time it begins to pour, I now seem to have a brand new umbrella magically appearing in my bag!

I guess I should stop complaining and close this article by telling you about the number one disadvantage of living with a Chinese girl. The biggest disadvantage of having a Chinese woman in your life has got to be the food! Ever since I moved in with my girl, I haven´t been able to lose any weight! Ever! All those dishes she (sometimes) prepares, have always gotten me craving for more! Not to mention the fact that every time I get sick, she will always serve me some miracle witch soup and the next day I am as good as new! I haven´t been able to call in sick for months!!!


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  • Emily

    As a Chinese woman I think the post is actually kinda accurate, haha! My husband is German and we live down south. I think there’s something really true about Swabians being very similar in mentality with the Chinese, but I’m still collecting related data. We met in college too, and I did teach him programming and now he’s a half-programmer (well, he *really* enjoy it too – call it the feminine instinct meeting communist reform!) Ever since I started to do freelance jobs, he also now take care of all the household chores, and he emphasized the fact “all” is very important to him taking pride in it, which I begin to see too. I never made him eat what he doesn’t want to, but otherwise he’s the biggest fan of my cooking 🙂

  • Joseph

    I really would like you to write again in say 10 years time after she gets the residency in your country. The odds are – she will leave you and clean you like no other girl in the world. But – good luck and take care.

    • Carl

      Haha Joseph, you are yet another example of pure jealousy …

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  • Alexis Rodriguez

    Where can i find programmer Chinese women?