A big question on a lot of guys’ minds is “How do I compliment a Chinese girl?” Mastering the art of complimenting Chinese girls can put you on the fast track toward a date or relationship. It is vital to know what kinds of compliments are going to spark fireworks and which kinds of compliments will fall flat. Let’s take a look at the do’s and don’ts of complimenting a Chinese girl.

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Some Tips When Complimenting a Chinese Girl

This goes for complimenting any girl, but be specific in your compliment! Chinese girls especially will be ecstatic to hear a specific compliment; for example, don’t just say “You look beautiful today!” Say something like, “That dress is gorgeous, you look beautiful in it!” Pick something very narrow to focus on and use it to transition into a broader compliment.

Don’t be afraid to exaggerate. Subtle comments like “I like your shoes” may just be brushed off as politeness. Instead over exaggerate and make it clear that you are complimenting her! Say something like “I love those heels you are wearing; they make your legs look so long and beautiful!”

Chinese girls can be shy, and will often try to deflect your compliments but don’t back down. A very common way for typical Chinese girlfriends to deflect a compliment is “哪里哪里” “nǎli nǎli” which literally means “where, where?” If she says something like this, just reinforce your compliment. Continuing from the previous example, you can say “Seriously, you look so tall and gorgeous!”

How to Compliment a Chinese Girl

In general, compliments about a Chinese girl’s personality or actions will be more powerful than a compliment about her looks (and often much easier). If she makes a good joke tell her she is very witty (careful to avoid saying ‘funny’, it carries a negative connotation in Chinese), if she tells you something interesting then let her know how smart you think she is, and when she does something silly definitely let her know how cute she is. One simple phrase to compliment a Chinese girl is “你多么可爱!” “nǐ duōme kě’ài” (you are so cute!) Just be careful not to use it too much! Learn some other phrases too!

Being able to say your comment in Chinese will make it that much more powerful, especially if you tell her you learned how to say it just for her! If you speak fluent Chinese or have a better grasp of the language then learn some really good 成语chéngyǔ (anecdotes) to compliment your girl. Chéngyǔ’s can be a very powerful tool when used correctly, but you must truly understand what you are saying! They have extremely narrow definitions and uses; you definitely don’t want to make a mistake here.

Another place where guys often make mistakes with Chinese girls is in the way that they compliment a beautiful girl. You need to understand what Chinese girls think is beautiful before you can develop compliments that really hit home. A few basic things that all Chinese girls focus on are being tall/having long legs, having a very white complexion, a narrow almost triangular face with the point being the chin, and long eye lashes. Complimenting any of these four areas is sure to be effective. Do a little research on what Chinese women find beautiful and focus on those areas when you compliment her looks!

Things to Avoid When Complimenting a Chinese Girl

There are three things you really need to avoid in your speech with traditional Chinese girlfriends. They are: Pick-up lines, jokes, and sarcasm. Especially if you are speaking English with her, these things will often go right over her head. Chinese girls aren’t used to using or hearing that kind of language and usually won’t understand it. Even if you try to say it in Chinese, you might end up hurting her feelings with a sarcastic remark or a silly pick-up line. It is better just to avoid it all together.

Now that you have a better idea of how to compliment a Chinese girl, you have to go out there and try it! This is just a general guide, this won’t apply to every single Chinese girl out there, but it will work in a majority of scenarios. Be yourself, be confident, and be honest, a Chinese girl will be able to tell if you aren’t being genuine.

You can know more tips about learning Chinese in China from this how to learn Chinese research.


  • bbarnavi

    tl;dr be prepared to kiss a LOT of ass, even when she doesn’t deserve it. Don’t speak sychophant? Well, ya do now, son, ‘cuz that’s the price for your yellow fever!