Many guys who date or are looking to date Chinese women have a lot of questions for men with a bit more experience in dating Chinese women. There are two questions every guy should keep in mind when dating Chinese women: “What causes problems in a relationship with a Chinese girl?” and “What most commonly leads to break-ups between foreigner/Chinese couples?” What may originally seem to be a small and otherwise unimportant issue begins as a crack in the relationship and eventually may be the root cause of its destruction. So what exactly are these common problems with dating Chinese women?

The first major problem in any mixed relationship will probably come as no surprise: a lack of communication. When two people do not share a common native language it is often difficult to convey very complex emotions adequately. It doesn’t matter how high your level of proficiency, these are just simply topics that are difficult to explain even in your mother tongue. Communication is vital in any relationship, and most experts say to diffuse problems with communication before they can grow. What you think may be a small annoyance can become an insurmountable issue later in the relationship when it is too late to salvage.

Having strong, open lines of communication is vital to your successful relationship with your Chinese girlfriend or wife. Lead by example, and politely point out when something makes you annoyed or uncomfortable. She will respond later with her own criticisms, and while it may hurt to hear some things initially, your relationship will be much better off for it. Ensure that your Chinese girlfriend knows she is welcome to state her opinions and convey her feelings to you. Don’t let those feelings bottle up inside, because they certainly will end up pouring out at the worst possible time.

Another reasonably common problem is a lack of balance in the relationship. Often, the relationship begins with the foreign guy making most of the decisions in the relationship, but slowly he will give up power to his Chinese girlfriend. Eventually, the Chinese girl will have taken full control over the relationship while the foreign guy is submissive. It starts with something small, like asking you not to speak to a particular girl, but ends with her asking for your phone regularly to check your texts and calls. Don’t let this happen to you, make some concessions but not ones that you are uncomfortable with. Again, communication goes a very long way.

There are other common problems to be explored in a healthy mixed relationship, but communication is more often than not a solution. If you feel like your Chinese girlfriend is holding too much power over you in the relationship, open up a dialogue and voice your opinions. A lot of the time, problems go unnoticed by one of the parties and they are unknowingly making a mistake. In a relationship between a foreign man and a Chinese woman, these problems need to be identified and resolved before they can tear the two of you apart.


  • Robert

    I think anyone entering into a relationship with a Chinese woman should understand that they will take total control. Trying to fight this is futile. If you wish for a happy marriage she will have to be in charge. She will love you and care for you however she will control every aspect of your life. You will be loved like you have never been loved but this requires your total devotion to her!