Having an Asian Wife is a rapidly growing phenomenon amongst foreign men throughout the world.
Whether the men are resident overseas in countries such as the US, UK or Australia or already living and working in one of the various Asian capitals, one thing many have in common is…, yes, you guessed it, an Asian wife.
In fact, this trend of mixed race marriages is possibly one of the biggest social and cultural phenomena of our times: men from overseas dating and then marrying their Asian wife. Wherever you look in any Asian capital— from Manila to Singapore, from Beijing to Hong Kong, or from Tokyo to Seoul, you see foreign men with their Asian wife and more often than not a child or two in tow.
Nowadays, even in the US or Europe, there is a preponderance of mixed race relationships between an Asian wife who has, possibly, grown up in the “west” and is totally assimilated into western culture and the a non-Asian man who is her partner.
So what is it about having an Asian wife that attracts so many men? And is it really true love or just the foreign man being a “meal ticket” for many poorer, economically challenged Asian women?
Let’s consider some of the issues:
What attracts foreign men to their Asian wife?
Sadly, many an Asian wife is stereotyped together with all of the other women who marry foreigners—whether the woman in question is from The Philippines, Mainland China, Hong Kong, Thailand, Korea or Japan or so on.To be fair, some of these stereotypical traits do ring true but, clearly, given that we are taking about hundreds and thousands of women it’s not possible to say that all apply to every Asian wife, each of whom will have their own character, ways of doing things and, even within Asia, probably come from a different cultural background.
Some foreign men are said to have a fetish for an Asian wife, wanting one without really knowing why. Or, alternately, others are simply “seduced” by the perception of what having an Asian wife will really involve.
“Perception” is a key word here. After all, without wishing to state the obvious, an Asian wife is a woman and will bring all of the traits that any woman from anywhere in the world will bring to a marriage… good and bad!
Many foreign men, however, can’t seem to get over the facts that many Asian women have great skin, great smiles and, usually, have slim-line figures which tend not to vary too much with age.
They perceive that an Asian wife will have commitment and loyalty to the family and home, be faithful, have a high work ethos, drive and determination and forever be charming and feminine.
Clearly, not all of the above factors are true but many foreign men can’t seem to take off their “rose tinted glasses” when looking for an Asian wife, and overlook many of her faults.
What does my Asian wife see in me?
I wonder sometimes if many, or indeed any, foreigners who have an Asian wife, ever step back, look in the mirror and ask, “What does my Asian wife see in me?”
Sure, no-one should be judged by appearances but there are at least two or three, very typical types of marriages between a foreign man and his Asian wife; firstly we might have:
- the dual professional couple who might have met at work or at a business get together, maybe even working in a similar profession; possibly similar in age and with similar interests. Perhaps the Asian wife has been overseas to study or is well familiar with the “western” way of doing things or a more western type of lifestyle
- the professional man with an Asian wife where the wife, perhaps, arrived in, say, Hong Kong or Singapore, from maybe The Philippines or Indonesia, undertaking a relative menial job, perhaps lower than her educational standard entitled her to—yet she managed to get a job away from her home country in order to better herself and, in due course, became the Asian wife of a foreign man working in the subject city
- the older man with a younger Asian wife is also a very noticeable trend in modern times where an older man from overseas, perhaps divorced or widowed from his former wife(s) from his own country, looks for an Asian wife from amongst the multitude of Asian women available on the internet on dating sites; sometimes called the ‘’economic bride”, this type of Asian wife is usually much younger, maybe even by 20 or 30 years, than her new husband
Danger signs from an Asian wife
So many foreign men desiring an Asian wife do one of two things: either they weigh things up carefully, determine their strategy and execute their plan to “capture” their Asian wife…. or they leave their brains behind in their home country or their office and acquire a false perception of the motivation of his bride to be.
Sure, we all know that love (or lust) is blind but it’s worth to pause and reflect—which type of man will you be? Dating or marrying an Asian woman can be the best thing which happens to many foreign men but, conversely, it can be an intimidating, stressful, less than rewarding experience.
I know it’s hard to be objective when matters of the heart and other emotions are in play but some things to watch out for with a potential, “meal ticket” type of Asian wife; does she:
- constantly want money for herself, her close family, her distant relatives; are you a so-called “walking ATM?”
- continually expect you to provide everything for her, keep her in a luxurious lifestyle even when money is tight?
- constantly demean your job, your earnings, telling you she is “losing face” in front of relatives and friends if you don’t buy her the latest Louis Vuitton bag or Chanel purse?
- forever talking about going back to your country for a better lifestyle, occasionally mentioning that her family would like to go too?
- not long after marriage change her attitudes towards you, the way she treats you? No more, demure, feminine, loving Asian wife… just a tough, money focussed woman?
Well, in order to avoid any problems such as the above, try to set your lust aside for a while, do the right research in advance and be aware of some of the main advantages and disadvantages of entering a relationship with an Asian wife.
Asian wife and foreign man: can it work in the long term?
Different cultures, different backgrounds, maybe even different age groups; the overriding questions is whether the marital union of an Asian wife and a foreign man can last for the long term?
As with any marriage anywhere in the world, the answer is, “It depends”.
I know of many a foreign man and Asian wife who have been happily married for over 30 years. There are also many marriages which don’t last more than 2 or 3 years.
To be fair, if the couple starts out as looking incompatible it’s reasonable to expect that they won’t last. For example, no matter if the Asian wife is from The Philippines or Indonesia, with good English language skills, or from China or Thailand with strongly ingrained local cultural traits then, if the Asian wife is so much younger or on a totally different educational or social level than it’s not unreasonable to assume that this type of union won’t be forever.
Similarly, some “made-in-heaven” marriages between an Asian wife and a foreigner won’t last if neither party is able to compromise on their careers, domestic responsibilities or more mundane day-to-day matters. Still, one would expect that this type of marriage is likely to outlast the one mentioned above.
Someone once said that “Marriage is a minefield” and this can hold true when there is a partnership between an Asian wife and a foreign man, especially if it is an arrangement not involving true love!